By: |
 xivor.8754
Member of Chariot of Fire |
Posted On: 10/11/2014 at 12:04 AM
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I am stepping down from War Council.
I saw Sanctum of Rall as something great and I thought we were better than we were when I stepped up to the plate and tried to take shape of this server. When the War Council was created, I envisioned a balance of power and responsibility and stress across multiple (5) people to lighten the load. And I truly saw a server that I believed had the potential yet still to do anything. I lost a guild member today due to the attitudes on this server. Frankly, I do not blame him. He came from a higher tier WvW server and came to SoR to really be a part of this community, and I convinced him this was a great place. Who was I fooling?
I do not believe SoR has this great community any longer. I pushed hard as a leader on the hopes and dreams of SoR being this great community-based server, and my efforts have failed me. My efforts with SoR have put blood and tears between myself and my wife. I gave everything I had. Time. Money. Sleep. Just to make us better. And I honestly think our community is worst. I am defeated.
After listening to Nex today as rudely as he was in channel telling everyone to "shut up" repeatedly. After listening to Bowtiger and Peanut go at it with their childish antics. In 6 months, I watched Kitty rage because of some power trip she had and couldn't fulfill. RA has always had the most notable toxicity of any guild on this server, as evidenced by the current antics of Bowtiger and Peanut, but also evidenced in the past by the likes of Euphoria, Steve, Ghost Engineer, Duality, etc. I have seen multiple guilds get absorbed into one another or break apart as guilds could not survive the drama and toxicity around here (NQ/IMPS/PF/EG/IQ/KOGS). Today, I had a guild leader tell me that his GvG was more important than our SERVER RESET MEETING. Whatever floats your boat, bud. This is supposed to be a COMMUNITY. BU what I see is most guilds are in it for themselves.
Javachips gave it 2 weeks. I gave it over 6 months. 6 months of CONSTANT being the middle man between ALD/RA and other guilds. 6 months of being a social babysitter. 6 months of hoping and wishing what I am feeling about SoR was not true. 6 months of trying to recruit guilds with the singular reason to join SoR being our community, yet just coming to the realization that everything I used as a recruitment tool was a crock.
I have a wife that is pregnant with our forth child and requires my time and efforts. And I am sure my kids would like to see me more, instead of constantly being in private chats trying to mitigate some toxic behavior. So, I am placing a higher focus on them. I take the failure of SoR as a failure of myself, because I made my job on SoR very personal. I took it upon myself to truly restore life to SoR. And by throwing in the towel, I feel like I am throwing in the towel on a large part of my life over the past 6 months or so.
Sorry to those that I have offended, because I hate it when I offend others. But I pulled no punches here. I am unhappy. I am beaten down. I want to just focus on my guild and my family offline. Because my guild has a strong community and we are tight, and outside of the game, my family is #1 in my life. Period.
Please strip me of all ranks, privileges, titles, etc on the website and the TS. I just want to finally be left alone.
See you around the battlefield. Maybe.
» Edited on: 2014-10-11 05:40:30
» Edited on: 2014-10-11 12:10:18
Combat Medic Barbie | Mist Walker Barbie | Rigor Mortis Barbie
Guild Leader of Chariot of Fire [FIRE]
Member Response:
In 2 years of server meetings, never have I heard someone tell the server people to shutup multiple times. If you ask me, Nex should be kicked right off the server. You guys keep talking about this "community", well I am afraid to say the community was better in our T1 days. You guys keep talking of this "community" but get behind the scenes and it's ugly.
At this time I have no plans to stay on this server. Their is no teamwork among guilds, you can't win with offense only. SOR wanting to Karma train only will not move the server forward. The moral is gone and we have lesser people playing wvw now. On reset nights we are outnumbered.
There is a lot of great people on SOR and they are equally frustrated with the server and it's "community". I support Xivor's decision and don't blame him one bit.
And don't say well people are taking a break from the tournament as this was the same boat during tournament.
By: |
timmyf.1490
Member of Super Mega Happy Fun Time |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 08:29 AM
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I'm sad to hear that, Xivor, but family always comes first. Hope to still run with you guys on the regular.
---
Karaoke (Loki | Oaky | Pokey | Smokey | Croaky | Cloaky | Soaky | Gnocchi)
Guild Leader - Super Mega Happy Fun Time [MEGA] - supermegahappyfuntime.com
By: |
iTater.4209
Member of Pink Quaggan Squad |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 08:33 AM
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Games are meant to be fun; go have fun, Xivor.
Professor Bannister, engineer
By: |
othlos.4508
Member |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 08:43 AM
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It takes a lot out of you as it has a lot of the people that do care. Thanks for leading!
Officer of [FIRE]Chariot of Fire also known as ProteinBar
By: |
 Foghladha.2506
Site Admin of Gaiscioch na Rall
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Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 08:58 AM
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Xivor, Family always comes first. Anyone that tells you otherwise isn't worth listening too. You've been a huge help in the rebuild process of this server and I can honestly say NOBODY has gone as far as you have in the leadership seat here. Your presence will be missed for sure.
That said I pray you do not become a stranger. I know things can be discouraging but not all is bad here. There are a lot of good and caring people here as well that do look out for one another. This is why in Gaiscioch I have 1 rule. Blades out, Not in. This prevents the kind of behavior we see on our server from taking place within my ranks. Unfortunately however, a server is not a guild.
When I first started this endeavor on SOR I was told that you can't run a server like a guild. This is very true. With a guild you can control your demographic, control your focus. A server community is a lot different. You can't decide who will be a part of it and the more you try to control it's focus the more resistance and strife you'll find. A server is organic. All you can do is encourage the things you envision and let people be themselves. You're going to have your antagonists for sure and there will be absolutely nothing you can do about them. A server is an unstoppable force that the more you try to get in the way and direct the more you get hurt. A server is not a guild and can not be run like one successfully. It can have a small portion become an alliance but it will never see 100% participation by everyone on the server. Everyone has their own agenda's own ways they enjoy playing. In the end this is a game, it should always be a game, and it should always be something you do for fun.
You just need to take it for what it is and do your best not to pass judgement on the entirety based off a few select people. I know it's easy to judge a people based on the actions of a loud few but thats not a fair assessment. Take some time off of trying to drive this thing and find your enjoyment again. Happy players make happy servers. » Edited on: 2014-10-11 08:59:19
Benjamin Foghladha
Community Manager, SanctumofRall.com
Founder and Activities Director, The Gaiscioch Family [GSCH]
I will agree with the overlord mentality at server meetings from some individuals and among other rants that go on in there.
however xivor,do what you need to do,not worth the aggravation,just a game after all,and congrats on the upcoming child,just had my 3rd 4 months ago,Family > then all!
By: |
Peanut.3916
Member of Disciples Of The New Order |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 11:40 AM
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Congrats xivor and kavor!
I would like to say that I have had respect for fire and everyone in it. I would like to start out by saying yes there has been trolls in my guild but you have to realize that it was quickly dealt withAlso I would like to say that RA is nontoxic and I don't care what people say. And xivor and to the rest of anyone who attacks RA with belligerence, we have had mad respect for all of you. Almost all the guilds on this server but we still keep getting attacked. Yes we have said somethings that were out of line, I want to point out that all the people that xivor has named are my friends and I will defend them. Also Xivor I think you should take a break man. On that note, I believe all war counsel should take a break ( a week or 2). Also I am done with all of the attacking of my guild members, me, guild leader, and above all my friends. I am not demanding respect, I am asking that it would cease.
Now xivor I am applaud from your immaturity of your post. If you have a problem with RA, say it to my face. Also plz don't attack my guild.
If anyone else has anything to say, say it to me not a forum post.
Thank you
Guild officer of RA- peanut
Guild leader of ORDR and proud member of the Sanctum of Rall community!
By: |
Gilaranel.4521
Member of Super Mega Happy Fun Time |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 11:42 AM
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Fog, I have always had the greatest respect for you and this post brings that respect to an l time high!
By: |
Gilaranel.4521
Member of Super Mega Happy Fun Time |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 11:52 AM
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Congrats on the new baby Xivor!!!! So excited for you guys and I hope the baby is healthy and happy!!! A child is a blessing from the Most High no matter the circumstances surrounding it's conception and birth! And I am sure the birth of this baby will help you and your family come together and heal any of the hurts. You will be sorely miss but nonetheless I hope you won't be a stranger and you come and have fun with the quaggan brigade! ;)
As for the server of SoR I would encourage you guys to read Fog's words. There is a lot of wisdom. He is so right ... I think the best way to some it up, be the change you want to see in the server (especially the guild leaders because people will follow). I would like to recommend that we don't shoulder one person with the complaints of ppl and being the mediator. I do believe that job requires a small team of ppl willing to work together and not cause drama between themselves so that way they can support each other while they try to help alleviate issues.
By: |
xivor.8754
Member of Chariot of Fire |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 01:32 PM
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I appreciate any kind words and I apologize for any harsh words. It is time for my "reign at the top" to end. Others can step up and lead the community. My guild needs my time, and more importantly, my family needs my time. I spent more time trying to recruit guilds to SoR and mediating battles in the SoR community to shield everyone from drama and toxicity, that I let them all get pushed aside many times.
The drama and toxicity that I tell other non-SoR servers we dont have just finally got to me. Last night's meeting was the last straw. We should be trying to work together, grow together, fall together. But we don't do anything together. "Our guild will just do whatever". Wrong answer...not a team player answer. Skipping the meetings for GvG's is not working as a team player. Not just these two incidents, but many more. Ask Fionn where EG is. Had a good heart to heart with him. It's just been too much for me now, and I shouldn't get stressed out about a game. I loved SoR. I love my guild. But now, I love SoR less than before. As we strove to improve, we got further and further disconnected. I honestly feel I did my part. I gave 110%. I led training events, recruited guilds, recruited commanders, mediated many guild and personal issues, administered the website and TS, I even messaged every single active GL on that is on the SoR site to bolster up our WvW presence pre-tournament. Not sure what more I can give. But, now I need to redirect that energy elsewhere.
So, where I failed, I challenge someone else to step up and find success. Those that appreciated my time of service, thank you for your appreciation. Those that didn't like me, well, honestly, I don't care. I was here for the masses of SoR, not for myself. But now, I need to focus on other things.
As for now, FIRE will be raiding on Fridays and Saturdays with Guild Training on Thursdays.
Combat Medic Barbie | Mist Walker Barbie | Rigor Mortis Barbie
Guild Leader of Chariot of Fire [FIRE]
By: |
acdspydar.8920
Member of Calamitous Annihilation |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 01:51 PM
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Hi Xivor,
I remember all the good things you told me about this server, and i thought about my current server at the time (Stormbluff Isle). i recall hearing about how all the guilds worked together and even seeing for myself (scouting) how each of the guilds meshed together. since i have been here, the community has negativity that it didn't have before our arrival. i would say at this moment the server needs a leader more than ever...but i will come back to this...
You have so much dedication to this server and i greatly appreciate your time and effort. One of my happiest memories on this server is working with you and FIRE. I hate to see it end, and i hope that we can continue to work together as we have... I greatly admire and respect your mediation between guilds as well as organizing training sessions and other events. Your leadership has been inspiring to me to help in anyway i can, and i will continue to try to do so.
Dear Sanctum of Rall,
You lost a great leader today. One that could rally the troops and built a sense of WvW community. With Xivor stepping down, i feel like the War Council no longer exists. All of the weight from the responsibilities was seemingly placed on him. If anyone was there to help us communicate as guilds on a server it was Xivor. In my opinion, it will be hard for anyone to fill his shoes for the dedication and work he put in. It needs to happen. One of my last posts talked about moving forward. We need leadership for our already weakened community. Yes, it is weakened. Communication has fallen off the radar between groups. Xivor maintained this link for other groups to work together through. I challenge people to carry on what he tried to do, even myself.
R.I.P. Server Meetings
By: |
Foghladha.2506
Site Admin of Gaiscioch na Rall |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 02:26 PM
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I really want everyone to take a step back and think about something just for a moment.
We appear to be falling into the same trap every single season. Each season we put PPT before People. In season one, we lost Indo and we fell from T1 in our largest split. On our way down we got trapped in Silver League and that caused javachips to split along with several other guilds. Now that Season Three has concluded we now lose yet another person who chose to stand up and lead. We can't keep turning on each other any time we don't come out on top.
The problem isn't with our coverage, or with our PPT. The problem is with our attitudes to one another during times of competition. Remember everyone, this is a game we all play for fun. FUN should be first and foremost regardless of what scoreboard is running. We can not let Competition keep destroying the community we do have. In between each season we have had wonderful things happen here. People come together as friends, a server bloom. But as soon as the next season kicks off we fall back into our old ways and start blaming one another because we aren't first place all the time.
We won't be first place all the time. Champions are not born by winning all the time. They are are forged by learning from their losses. By uniting when tested by fire. Right now we need to not point fingers at one another. Right now is the time to pick each other up.
Don't let PPT come before people. This is a game and it is important that we focus on player satisfaction first and foremost. That is what will see us through our darkest hours and keep us united as a community. Wins and losses are temporary, after the season is done it is each other that we are left with.
Benjamin Foghladha
Community Manager, SanctumofRall.com
Founder and Activities Director, The Gaiscioch Family [GSCH]
By: |
timmyf.1490
Member of Super Mega Happy Fun Time |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 02:28 PM
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Xivor's a good guy and, I'd like to think, a friend. That said, no server can be or should be defined by a single person. No commander, no guild leader, no troll. After the drop from T1, I think we were looking for leaders to come save us. That's too much pressure on too few individuals. The number of people and personalities to manage is just immense. It's a gargantuan task.
Moving forward, I will ask my guild members (and you should ask yours) to do a better job of joining other guilds and making friends throughout the server. I feel like MEGA has a good relationship with guilds like FIRE and FX. We hang out with Sscripko and Peanut alike. We're starting to get to know the guys from VEX.
I hope you guys will all take the opportunity to come say hello to us and members of other guilds. Community isn't built through a weekly meeting, it's through playing with each other regularly, being friendly, and getting to know each other. Before we can move forward as a server, I think we need to work on being good servermates.
---
Karaoke (Loki | Oaky | Pokey | Smokey | Croaky | Cloaky | Soaky | Gnocchi)
Guild Leader - Super Mega Happy Fun Time [MEGA] - supermegahappyfuntime.com
By: |
Peanut.3916
Member of Disciples Of The New Order |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 08:18 PM
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so then everyone says a leader should rise, that has the time, that can handle stress, as well is very good at leading a server. But also there shouldn't be just anyone because there could become elitism. Therefore if the war counsel thing wants to survive we should cast a revote!
- Again to stress another point these votes should be weekly or monthly not permanent, like presidency.
-This will eliminate elitism and have a chance to have each guild represented. And to add to this we should not have the same guild voted in the next time.
-the worcounsel just like the one we had but with different members and new opportunities
-I know some guilds may not be selected because of favoritism that's y we should implement that the representatives guild should not be able to go back into re-election until all the guilds have served
Guild leader of ORDR and proud member of the Sanctum of Rall community!
By: |
xivor.8754
Member of Chariot of Fire |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 08:30 PM
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Spelling must be a requirement.
Combat Medic Barbie | Mist Walker Barbie | Rigor Mortis Barbie
Guild Leader of Chariot of Fire [FIRE]
By: |
xivor.8754
Member of Chariot of Fire |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 08:30 PM
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And you forget, there are still 2 War Council members.
Combat Medic Barbie | Mist Walker Barbie | Rigor Mortis Barbie
Guild Leader of Chariot of Fire [FIRE]
By: |
Peanut.3916
Member of Disciples Of The New Order |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 08:37 PM
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ok ya know what y do I try I know I cant spell but I thought it was a good idea!
Guild leader of ORDR and proud member of the Sanctum of Rall community!
By: |
Peanut.3916
Member of Disciples Of The New Order |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 08:38 PM
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also #spellcheck
Guild leader of ORDR and proud member of the Sanctum of Rall community!
By: |
xivor.8754
Member of Chariot of Fire |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 08:59 PM
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Lol, I wasn't serious, Peanut! Just giving some lighthearted humor! But HASHTAGSPELLCHECK always works!
Combat Medic Barbie | Mist Walker Barbie | Rigor Mortis Barbie
Guild Leader of Chariot of Fire [FIRE]
By: |
Peanut.3916
Member of Disciples Of The New Order |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 09:10 PM
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YES!
Guild leader of ORDR and proud member of the Sanctum of Rall community!
By: |
Super P.8572
Member of Impact Players |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 09:14 PM
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Server meetings are a joke and quite frankly I am glad I have refused to go to the server meetings over the last month or more. When I did attend I could only handle about five minutes and my headset would come off.
I think what people here are forgetting is that this is a game. No one owns this server.
The season is over, now is a time for everyone to heal and try to have fun because lets be real most of us come here to get away from our own reality and have enough drama or BS in our own real lives.
By: |
Hepcat.7809
Member of Calamitous Annihilation |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 09:22 PM
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Thanks for the time and effort you have put in Xivor. SoR is my first server and I'd hate to server jump to find a good community. I think you, and others who have put forth similar if not equal effort, are a beacon of hope for people like me - people who see both the good and the bad out there, but aren't sure what is "normal". I think there are a lot of great people on this server and we'll get through this funky transition. Like Fog said, blades out - not in!
By: |
xivor.8754
Member of Chariot of Fire |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 09:38 PM
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Refusing to attend server meetings isnt a way to bolster the community. It creates a certain level of exclusivity. Anyone and everyone is invited to the server reset meeting in order to have a voice in the overarching community. In this GAME, there is a certain level of strategy that needs to be discussed. This can only be discussed if people are present. Without strategy, we have no hope of being competative. Without activity, we have no hope of community.
I encourage everyone not dismiss the reset meetings. This past one was rough, but that does not mean the next one will be. I didn't step down because of the reset meeting. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back. There was a much larger set of events in motion that led up to this decision.
Combat Medic Barbie | Mist Walker Barbie | Rigor Mortis Barbie
Guild Leader of Chariot of Fire [FIRE]
By: |
souldonkey.9534
Member of Ascalonian Ghostbusters |
Replied On: 10/11/2014 at 11:26 PM
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If I buy a dozen eggs and 3 of them end up rotten I can still make one delicious and fulfilling omelet. 2-3 bad eggs does not a bad community make.
Xivor, thank you for bringing me back into WvW. Without you reaching out to me I would not have set foot back on those battlegrounds. Take a break, for the love of god take your family out for a good time, and come back refreshed and relaxed. I still believe that, overall, SoR's community is solid. There might be a few issues here and there, but that's not exclusive to this server in any way. That's just life in general. You've earned a break and should take one. I have a wife and 3 kids myself, and they always come first. That's why I'm not on nearly as often as some of you. I think you're doing the right thing by focusing on them and think you should definitely always keep in mind that this game is just that, a game.
As the great psychiatrist Maj. Sidney Freedman (yes, from M.A.S.H.) once said, "Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants and slide on the ice." » Edited on: 2014-10-11 23:27:12
- Charlie -
Guild Leader of Ascalonian Ghostbusters [ECTO] - an original SoR Guild - www.ectoguild.com
Current 80s - Arms Murphy (W)| Pumpsandabump (G)| Nicolas Rayge (R)| Karysta Raine (M)| Eiryn Blak (El)| Alexa Stoutcheste (T)| Billy The Kit (En)| Niteris (N)
By: |
Aleron.6357
Member of Chariot of Fire |
Replied On: 10/12/2014 at 02:23 PM
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Even though I've had this game since beta, I only started playing in July and WvW in August. I've enjoyed your leadership, Xivor, and have learned a great deal. I'm a proud member of [FIRE] and have enjoyed my brief time with this guild.
You have your priorities right. Family and real life always needs to come first. Don't let bitterness consume you, brother. Take a break and recharge. Your kids won't always be little. They will be grown up before you know it. Focus on them and your wife. My wife and I stopped at two kids, 21 years ago. Sometimes I wish we would have had more and I always wish I had spent more time with them when they were little.
This is just a game. As others have said, it's meant to be fun. There's enough drama in real life without having to endure it during a time when we're supposed to be enjoying ourselves.
Guild Leader of Chariot of Fire [FIRE]
By: |
LuMai.5034
Member of Calamitous Annihilation |
Replied On: 10/13/2014 at 12:39 PM
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Got to thank you for bringing me over to SoR Xivor and getting me more into the community. I still love working you and the guys at FIRE and hope that it doesn't stop because of this. I am saddened to hear about this but what bothers me the most is how your position did become more of the babysitter/principal at a middle school or even an Elementary school with all the catty he said she said drama. All that's in the past I hope you can relax enjoy the game enjoy your family and still make time for us VEX guys/gals. Looking forward to the next time we talk and congratulations on your fourth child.
-Lu
Council Master of VEX
I didn't choose the VEX life, the VEX life chose me
By: |
Charley.1489
Member of United For The Common Good |
Replied On: 10/17/2014 at 09:55 AM
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Xivor - I am sorry to hear this. I do wish the best for you and your family. I have been on SOR since the beginning and am disappointed to see some of the behavior I have seen lately. We should be working together as a team and working with other guilds but instead we are fighting amongst ourselves. So I challenge each and everyone who comes into this site and into wvw to put aside any differences or negative attitudes we may have and find common ground within our guild and with other guilds. Let's make a commitment to work together to rebuild SOR and make it the great server it can and should be.
Most of all have FUN out there!
Charley - member of RITE/UNIT
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